Eight Reasons Why “Quiet” Continues to Be A Relevant Read in Teaching Us About Introversion
Why We Should Continue to Hold on to The Principles of Susain Cain’s “Quiet.”
Susan Cain’s “Quiet,” is a best-selling book published in 2012 that sparked a “Quiet movement.”
A decade after it’s publication, it continues to be a relevant read to understand introversion. From understanding introverts as children to teaching and how classroom culture is managed. Then, there’s the understanding of introversion as adults, introvert employees, leadership style, introversion across cultures and the great contradictions.
“Quiet” is said to have led to a revolution in how the world views introverts and extroverts. Here are my top eight favorite lessons from the book.
1: Quiet Teaches Us that Being a Reclusive Child is Not a Bad Thing
“High-reactive kids also tend to think and feel deeply about what they’ve noticed, and to bring an extra degree of nuance to everyday experiences. This can be expressed in many different ways. If the child is socially oriented, she may spend a lot of time pondering her observations of others — why Jason didn’t want to share his toys today, why Mary got so mad and Nicholas when he bumped into her accidentally” (Cain, 2012, p. 103).
Introverted children don’t always want to spend much time playing around with their peers. Introverts might want to be more reflective. They might like spending time reading or observing their environment more.
I was the child who you would have considered to be shy because I like to read. I like to journal and big social interactions were and still are not always the easiest thing for me to navigate. However, the things I like to do are solitary and are a part of what I enjoy and make me happy. Therefore, parents of introverted children should let their children be themselves because of the joy that comes with it.
In the book, we read, “One of the most interesting findings, echoed by later studies, was that the most creative people tended to be socially poised introverts. They were interpersonally skilled but not of an especially sociable or participative temperament. They described themselves as independent and individualistic. As teens, many had been shy and solitary.” (Cain, 2012, p. 103).
2: Quiet Teaches Us That Classroom Culture Should Foster Both Collaborative and Independent Learning
“Today, the world of business works in groups, so now the kids do it in school, a third-grade teacher in Decatur, Georgia explained. Cooperative learning enables skills in working as teams–skills that are in dire demand in the workplace,” (Cain, 2012, p.77).
Classroom culture for children is about working in groups and that’s a good thing. As a student myself, I can see that classrooms tend to dwell in the structure of placing value in groups during class time to discuss the content and course for the day and that’s important.
When students work in groups, they learn from one another and exchange ideas, which is great for brainstorming and considering concepts from different perspectives.
Also, by working in groups, students learn how to function well in teams which is needed in the workplace because often, employees work across different departments and collaboration is essential for enhancing the company’s mission, values and goals.
However, even though working in groups is beneficial for students learning, Cain argues that teachers should strike a balance between having students learn by working in groups and also through independent learning.
She writes: “Our schools should teach children the skills to work with others — cooperative learning can be effective when practiced well and in moderation — but also the time and training they need to deliberately practice on their own,” (Cain, 2012, p.94).
What this means is that within the learning environment of a classroom, students should continue to work in teams and collaborate with one another but teachers and instructors should also make sure they prioritize having students take the time to assess the material of the day’s content and learn on their own.
3: Quiet Teaches Us that Introvert Employees Can Tend To a More Solitary Workstyle
“Eysenck believed that extroverts prefer more stimulation than introverts do, and that this explained many of their differences: introverts enjoy shutting the doors to their offices and plunging into their work, because for them this sort of quiet intellectual activity is optimally stimulating, while extroverts function best when engaged in higher-wattage activities like organizing team-building workshops or chairing meetings.” (Cain, 2012, p.122).
In the workplace, we have different types of employees. Some employees tend to be more sociable as they interact and engage with other employees. They also value more open workspaces. These employees can be extroverts while the more introverted employees can prefer working in small offices or usually on their own. They also might not be as inclined to be very sociable when compared to their extrovert counterparts.
Though I’m an introvert and I do like small workspaces, as a creative, I believe that working together is beneficial for brainstorming, coming up with new ideas and collaboration.
Therefore, for introvert employees, I believe the best work environment is one where the employers understand how their employees best function and have ample time to work on projects on their own while still collaborating and working effectively within teams.
4. Quiet Teaches Us that Introverts Can Make Great Leaders Too
When we think about leaders and leadership, we associate certain characteristics with them. We see leaders as charismatic and gregarious. Leaders who bring people together and manage teams effectively are seen as attributing traits that belong to extroverts. However, we learn that some of the greatest leaders who have impacted society have been introverts. Quiet makes reference to leaders such as Rosa Parks.
“She is a very quiet, gentle person and it is difficult to imagine how she ever could take such a positive and independent stand. When the boycott finally ended, over a year later, the buses integrated by decree of the Supreme Court, Parks was overlooked by the press” (Cain, 2012, p.60).
Also, we read that “For years before the day in December 1955 when Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on a Montgomery bus, she worked behind the scenes for the NAACP even receiving training in non-violent resistance. Parks organized NAACP record kept track of membership payments, read to little kids in her neighborhood. She was diligent and honorable, but no one thought of her as leader. Parks, it seemed, was more of a foot soldier.” (Cain, 2012, p.58).
Rosa Parks is a prominent activist, and her role in the civil rights movement was critical. She is known for her courage to remain seated when asked to give up her seat for other passengers on the Montgomery bus. This was a notable moment in history, but Parks had also been active with the NAACP for many years.
Rosa Parks is a leader though some would have described her as shy and quiet. We know that she led in her own unique way.
5: Quiet Teaches Us that Introverts Are More Likely to Be Open Online
“Studies have shown that, indeed, introverts are more likely than extroverts to express intimate facts about themselves online that their family and friends would be surprised to read, to say that they can express the “real me” online, and to spend more time in certain kinds of online discussions. They welcome the chance to communicate digitally” (Cain, 2012, p.63).
It was interesting to read that introverts, more than extroverts are more likely to share facts about themselves online. They feel they can express themselves more online and they welcome the chance to communicate more digitally.
This truly resonated with me because I enjoy the online space as a way to be creative. That’s why I like to write and share my views here on Medium and create social media content. I find that doing this is not just a way for me to be the “real me,” but it’s a way to extend myself. To be able to share my thoughts, passions, and hobbies with those who have a similar interest.
As someone who enjoys the online space and believes it’s a great way to share knowledge and create a sense of community, I believe that introverts who like to communicate digitally should be more intentional in how they choose to share and communicate online. They should also have platforms and spaces where they can connect with other like-minded people.
6: Quiet Teaches Us that Introversion Differs Across Cultures
“Another explanation is group identity. Many Asian cultures are team-oriented but not in the way that Westerners think of teams. Individuals in Asia see themselves as part of a greater whole — whether family, cooperation, or community — and place tremendous value on harmony within the group” (Cain, 2012 p.189).
Susan Cain’s interviews helped us better understand how different cultures view introversion and what it means to them.
From her interviews with highschool students to college students, she says that “Chinese high school students tell researchers that they prefer friends who are humble, honest and altruistic while Americans seek out friends who are cheerful, enthusiastic and sociable.”
This lets you know the traits that are valued when it comes to Asian adolescents. Then, when it comes to the work-culture, she says that Asian cultures are more team-oriented but in a different way than how Westerners view teams. They like harmony within teams. (Cain, 2012, p. 187).
Cain states that “Western culture, by contrast, is organized around the individual. We see ourselves as self-contained units; our destiny is to express ourselves, to follow our bliss, to be free of undue restraint, to achieve the one thing that we, and we alone, were brought into this world to do. We may be gregarious, but we don’t submit to group will, or at least we don’t like to think we do” (Cain, 2012 p. 189).
I found this to be interesting and it made me reflect on being an African, specifically being a Nigerian. I believe that Nigerian culture leans more toward Western culture. Nigerians like to express themselves, to be sociable, follow their bliss and achieve great things.
In Nigeria, “Naija no dey carry last” is a common phrase that means that Nigerians essentially like to be the best at what they do. They value the extroverted ideal and I believe it is more celebrated than introversion.
7: Quiet Shows Us that People Are Filled with Contradictions
Introverts like to learn and work on their own but they also enjoy collaboration and working with teams. Introverts like quiet and solitude but they also value connection, intimacy and social networks. Introverts are filled with contradictions and that’s okay.
“I’m prone to wild flights of self-doubt, but I also have a deep well of courage in my convictions. I feel horribly uncomfortable on my first day in a foreign city, but I love to travel. I was shy as a child but have outgrown the worst of it. Furthermore, I don’t think these contradictions are so unusual; many people have dissonant aspects to their personalities” (Cain, 2012, p.105).
Susan shares contradictions within herself. She can be hesitant and have self-doubts but also be courageous in her beliefs. She can be uncomfortable and shy in new environments but still loves to travel. She was a shy child but has overcome her shyness.
I like that Susan shares this because we all have different aspects to our personality. We can have introverted qualities and still exhibit extroverted traits. Humans are multidimensional. No one has a fixed quality or trait. Our personalities are wide and varied.
As for myself, as much as I love solitude and reflection, I also like being creative, working together collaboratively, brainstorming, and learning from others. Also, as much as I can be shy in certain environments, I can be bold and outspoken when discussing my passions. Also, I thrive in bringing people together for conversations about change within gender-based violence and mental health topics.
What are some contradictions within your personality?
8: Quiet Shows Us that the Best Way for Introverts to Be is Themselves
We live in a world that values the extrovert ideal and while some introverts might have to perform as extroverts within certain environments, that doesn’t mean they should stop being themselves.
Introverts should make time to do what gives them joy and happiness. They should always find ways to energize themselves.
“To thine own self be true, runs deep in our philosophical DNA. Many of us are uncomfortable with the idea of taking on a “false” persona for any length of time. And if we act out of character by convincing ourselves that our pseudo-self is real, we can eventually burn out without even knowing why” (Cain, 2012, p. 210).
As introverts, we should make time to do what makes us happy. For myself, that’s time to write, journal and reflect on life. It’s quiet moments of solitude. It’s peaceful moments of being able to meditate. It’s time spent in nature. It’s finding ways to be creative and express myself. This is how I stay true to myself.
How do you remain true to yourself?
Final Thoughts
“Quiet” was published over a decade ago but it remains a great read that’s relevant to this very day. In reading “Quiet,” we learn about introversion. We learn how introverted qualities are displayed in children, such as being solitary, observant, and reflective. We learn about classroom culture and the need for a balance between group work and independent learning. We learn about introverted employees who tend to be more solitary.
Through “Quiet,” we learn about amazing introverted leaders like Rosa Parks. We also see how introversion differs across cultures. We explore the contradictions of the introvert who is both shy and bold. Those who want solitude and still enjoy the company of others.
Lastly, “Quiet” shows us that “to thine own self be true.” In a world where being loud and sociable is more valued, it’s okay to be quiet. It’s okay to want to listen more. It’s okay to need moments to yourself. Moments to rest. Moments to relax. Moments to breathe. It’s okay to simply be yourself. To all the introverts out there, let’s continue to be Quiet.
Reference
Cain, S. (2012). Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking. Penguin Books Ltd.
