Five Things I Learned about Emotional Wellbeing from Dr Anita Phillips

“First, we think. Then, we feel and then we Do.”

Dr Anita Phillips is a Minister, Trauma Therapist, Life Coach and the Author of “The Garden Within.”

“The Garden Within,” is a great read for all those who want to improve their mental health and emotional well-being.

The book covers significant topics about how to live well in different aspects of your life.

That’s understanding your emotions to managing your relationship with yourself and others.

Then, living a life of purpose and knowing how your faith impacts your life.

I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to gain a better insight into how they can manage their emotions and improve their well-being.

Here are five of the most significant lessons I learned from the book.

1. You Live on Purpose When You Serve

“We were all created to live with purpose and it is not what you are but it is a reason why,” Dr Anita Phillips.

Dr Anita Phillips says that everyone has a purpose in life and the key to knowing your purpose is to know that your purpose meets a need that sustains yourself and others.

She writes that purpose is productive and relational. That it is about service to those around us.

For myself, I live out my purpose when I can do things that matter to me. That’s when I write and share my thoughts and perspective with others.

I also live out my purpose when I can be part of what pertains to women’s empowerment and working towards causes that seek to end gender-based violence.

Living out my purpose also means that I can be there for members of my family.

If you are questioning how to find your purpose, you should ask yourself; what is your role within your community and which communities are you serving?

2. Emotional Well-Being is About Attending to Your Needs

“Sadness says you are disconnected and need connection, so attend to the need,” Dr Anita Philips.

Dr Anita Phillips says that emotional well-being does not mean that you are always happy but it means that you feel all your emotions.

Most people want to assume that being emotionally well means that we must be happy all the time.

However, Dr Anita’s approach is that we acknowledge when we are unhappy and know that our sadness is a signal that something we value feels far away.

For myself, dealing with negative emotions is working through my sadness. It involves going to therapy to figure out what is the root cause of my sadness and knowing how to get to a better state of mind.

Dealing with my negative emotions is also reflecting and journalling about my life; my past, present and what I want my future to be like.

In addition, dealing with my negative emotions means actually taking actionable steps to get happier.

Actionable steps means exercise.

Actionable steps means connecting with family and friends.

Actionable steps means being in environments that make me happy.

3. Self-awareness, Self-Love and Self-Care = A Healthy Relationship with You

“A healthy relationship with yourself requires self-awareness, self-love and self-care,” Dr Anita Phillips.

Being self-aware means that we recognize our thinking patterns, character traits and strengths.

That we acknowledge our weaknesses and are accountable when our behaviour does not align with our values.

Next, to have self-love, Dr Anita says that when you have self-love, you know that you are worthy of being loved, valued, treasured and respected.

You know your voice matters and you treat yourself with kindness even when you let yourself down.

Then, she says that self-care is when you intentionally choose to nurture yourself spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically; not after but before your breaking point.

In addition, she writes that to have a healthy relationship with yourself, you have to be connected to your body.

Being connected to your body means that you know how you feel and what you need and want.

When it comes to my relationship with myself, my self-awareness is all about learning to not be so hard on myself. To know that in the moments I fall short, I am still worthy of going after a life that feels good and abundant to me.

Also, in my relationship with myself: my self-care is knowing how to make myself happy and it’s always in the little things.

My self-care means I spend time with the people I care about. It means I put myself in a new and fun environment.

My self-care means I take care of both my physical and emotional health.

When it comes to self-love, it means I continue to affirm that I am worthy and deserving of the life I want.

4. A Healthy Relationship with Others is Having the Right People by Your Corner

“When we nurture our relationships, they nurture the grounds our hearts are on,” Dr Anita Phillips

When it comes to having healthy relationships, Dr Anita Phillips states that this means you have people in your life who make you feel supported and loved.

This means you have people who you feel safe enough around with to be you.

This means there are people with whom you don’t mind asking for help.

When it comes to my relationship with others, it means I know who the people are in my life who make me feel safe and who I don’t mind asking for help. That’s my family.

I nurture the relationship I have with them by practising kindness and gratitude.

When it comes to your relationship with others, Dr Anita recommends asking some questions such as what is going well in your relationships?

You should also ask yourself which relationship with others holds your heart together during hard days?

When you know the people who you feel safe around, then continuously put into practice ways in which you can sustain the relationship.

5. Your Relationship with God is Knowing You are His

“Your relationship with God is knowing that you are God’s child and in that carries a sense of safety, consistency and unconditional love,” Dr Anita Phillips.

Dr Anita states that your relationship with God is knowing who God is to you and why he matters in your life.

For myself, knowing I have God in my life is important to me.

Knowing I have God means that I belong to him.

It means that I am his child and for the fact that I am his child means that I am worthy. The fact that I am his child means I am protected, covered and loved by the Lord Most High.

Having a relationship with God matters because our faith helps us in our emotional well-being.

My faith is what sustains me. It is what gives me hope and perseverance to know that all good things work for those who love the Lord and are called to his purpose.

You can build your relationship with God by getting close to him.

You do this by praying more and making time to listen to him to know of his will and purpose for you.

Being close to God is also about living in obedience to what God wants and of course, letting God know how much he matters to you through your praise and worship.

In Conclusion

“The Garden Within,” is all about getting to know and understand your emotions and our emotions play a role in different parts of your life.

Your emotions affect your well-being when it comes to going after your purpose.

Your emotions affect your personal life when it comes to your relationship with yourself and others.

Your emotions also affect your spiritual life when it comes to faith and your relationship with God.

When we consider our emotional well-being, we should not be in denial of our emotions but feel what we feel and do what is needed to get to a better emotion.

I send you good and positive energy in your emotional well-being journey 💚