Secrets to Being More Confident in Life for Introverts

The way to feeling better about YOU for the quiet and “old souls.”

Isioma Ononye
6 min readJan 22


Photo by Michael Starkie on Unsplash

Introversion is defined as the state of being predominantly interested in one’s own mental self. Introverts are typically perceived as more reserved or reflective.

Also, an introvert is known to be a person who prefers calm environments, limits social engagement, or embraces a greater-than-average preference for solitude.

Some would be quick to classify introverts as shy and closed off. Therefore, when we think of someone that is confident, we might only associate them with “extroverts,’’ who are more outgoing.

Yet, I’m here to tell you that confidence is not reserved only for an extrovert but those of us who exhibit a personality that is quieter can also be just as confident.

People are often surprised to know that I can be bold.

I remember in college when doing a play, a friend was surprised and said that she didn’t expect me to be the performer because of my quiet nature yet I took the stage once and nailed it.

Apart from that, I’ve been a host on social media discussions. I’ve also hosted in-person events that pertain to discussions on gender-based violence.

Being confident is what I am though I am an introvert.

So this article is to help encourage other introverts like myself on how to slowly come out of their shell.

Don’t Fake It but Be Yourself

Photo by Michael Starkie on Unsplash

We often hear the common adage that we should fake it till we make it. Yet, I don’t believe that confidence has to be all about faking it.

One of the best ways to be confident is by being yourself. That is being the authentic you that you were created to be.

You become more of yourself when you embrace the unique skills, talents and passions that come naturally to you.

For example, me being myself is embracing my love of reading, writing, women empowerment, personal development and creativity.

Now, because those are the things that I enjoy the most, I naturally find myself taking up space and feeling most confident when being me.

Don’t Waste Your Energy on People/ Environments You Don’t Like

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As an introvert, my energy can be quickly drained by a lot of activity and therein lies the need to recharge myself.

In the past, I would find myself being at social gatherings and groups just to be “social,’’ or to not be alone.

Yet, over time, I’ve found out that it’s best for me to preserve my energy and time for places and people that matter most to me.

If you are an introvert that wants to be more social, be more strategic in your approach. Don’t waste your energy and time on people you don’t even like hanging around with. But rather spend time with people who you have a common interest with. Spend time with people whose energy elevates yours and people with who you truly enjoy their company.

Understand What Motivates You and Gets Your Energy Up

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If you want to be more confident as an introvert, it’s good for you to know what are some of those things that motivate and inspire you.

As for myself, I’m inspired by many things. Having a good run/walk gets my energy up. Listening to music is a way for me to motivate myself when I’m a bit anxious.

I’m also motivated by writing and reflecting on myself and my thoughts.

You need to figure out what are your motivations because on days when you are not feeling your best, your motivations would get you back up and running.

Take Your Moments of Rest and Solitude Seriously

Photo by Alexis Chloe on Unsplash

One of the things that helps me to be charged up is rest and being in a quiet space for me to reflect and listen to music by myself.

After a long day of associations and activity, being able to go back to the comfort of my home and find peace in quiet and solitude brings me joy.

Do not neglect the time for rest and solitude. Everyone needs it and especially us introverts because we are not naturally inclined to be very social beings.

After moments of activity, take your solitude and rest seriously.

Let Your Sensitivity Guide You to Your Truth

Some people might see being sensitive as a weakness but I feel that it could be a superpower!

Yes, being sensitive can be a superpower because it’s an indicator. Being sensitive can help you to know who should or should not be in your life. Being sensitive can let you know what is the best environment for you to be in.

Now, when I say indicator, I don’t mean that you should run away from everyone when you have a conflict or get emotional because that will happen in life sometimes.

Yet, I am saying that let your sensitivities guide you on the path to embracing what fills your heart with happiness, fulfilment and purpose.

Essentially, let your sensitivity provoke you to let go of the weight of what does not serve you.

Celebrate Yourself Often

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To be confident, you’ve got to be your biggest cheerleader. You’ve got to cheer yourself on not just for the big wins but the very LITTLE WINS that you might not even consider wins.

Cheer yourself on for waking up and showing up. Cheer yourself for an attempt made at your goal even if you fail. Cheer yourself on for the steps you take when you endeavour to do something different, take on a new project, have an adventure, or join an organisation.

There are different ways you can celebrate yourself. You can celebrate yourself through self-care activities. You can celebrate yourself through gifts. You can celebrate yourself through trips.

Acknowledge Your Introversion with Pride not Contempt

Being a quiet and reflective soul does not make you boring. Being a quiet and reflective soul does not make you a loser or an outcast.

Being an introvert is a special and unique personality for people who like to think deeply about the world and life. Introverts are seen in all spheres of life and some make the best leaders, teachers and musicians.

Being an introvert is meant to be celebrated.

Final Thoughts

For a while, I often saw myself as different. I was never inclined to be loud and outgoing. Approaching a social event always made me feel anxious and in my college years, I didn’t enjoy the party lifestyle.

As I got older, I started to learn more about myself. The word: Introvert started becoming more clear and as I understood more about it, I found joy in it.

Being an introvert helped me to embrace aspects of my personality that make me feel happy and fulfilled such as writing, reading and reflection.

Being an introvert also helps me to connect with people who are like-minds and people whose energy I resonate with.

To the other gentle, quiet and sensitive souls out there. I see you. You matter and your light deserves to shine just as brightly as anyone else.

If you want more tips on how to be more confident, do check out my E-book: Discovering Your Confidence: A Personal Guide.



Isioma Ononye

I write about finding yourself, self-esteem, christianity, mental health and communications. Join my newsletter here: