Secrets to Being More Confident in Life for Introverts

The way to feeling better about YOU for the quiet and old souls

Isioma Ononye
5 min readJan 22, 2023

Photo by Michael Starkie on Unsplash

Introversion is defined as the state of being predominantly interested in one’s own mental self and introverts are typically perceived as more reserved or reflective.

Also, an introvert is known to be a person who prefers calm environments, limits social engagement or embraces a greater-than-average preference for solitude.

Some would be quick to classify introverts as shy and closed off.

Therefore, when we think of someone confident, we might only associate them with extroverts who are more outgoing.

But confidence is not reserved only for an extrovert but those of us who exhibit a quieter personality can also be just as confident.

If you are an introvert who struggles with confidence, here is how you can embrace your confidence.

Don’t Fake It but Be Yourself

Photo by Michael Starkie on Unsplash

We often hear the common adage that we should fake it till we make it. Yet, I don’t believe confidence has to be all about faking it.

One of the best ways to be confident is by being yourself. That is being the authentic you.

You become more of yourself when you embrace the unique skills, talents and passions that come naturally to you.

For myself, it’s embracing my love of reading, writing, women’s empowerment, personal development and creativity.

What are your skills and passions?

Don’t Waste Your Energy on People/ Environments You Don’t Like

As an introvert, my energy can be quickly drained by a lot of activity and therein lies the need to recharge myself.

In the past, I would find myself being at social gatherings and groups just to be social or to not be alone.

Yet, over time, I’ve found that it’s best for me to preserve my energy and time for places and people that matter most to me.

If you are an introvert who wants to be more social, be more strategic in your approach. Don’t waste your energy and time on people you don’t even like hanging around with.

But rather spend time with people who you have a common interest with. Spend time with people whose energy elevates yours and people with whom you truly enjoy their company.

Understand What Motivates You and Gets Your Energy Up

Photo by Arek Adeoye on Unsplash

If you want to be more confident as an introvert, it’s good for you to know what are some of those things that motivate and inspire you?

As for myself, I’m inspired by many things.

Having a good run/walk gets my energy up. Listening to music is a way for me to motivate myself when I’m a bit anxious.

I’m also motivated by writing and reflecting on myself and my thoughts.

You need to figure out what your motivations are because on days when you’re not feeling your best, your motivations would get you back up and running.

Take Your Moments of Rest and Solitude Seriously

Photo by Alexis Chloe on Unsplash

One of the things that helps me to be charged up is rest and being in a quiet space for me to reflect and listen to music by myself.

After a long day of associations and activity, being able to go back to the comfort of my home and find peace in quiet and solitude brings me joy.

Do not neglect the time for rest and solitude. Everyone needs it and especially us introverts because we are not naturally inclined to be very social beings.

After moments of activity, take your solitude and rest seriously.

Let Your Sensitivity Guide You to Your Truth

Being sensitive does not have to be seen as a weakness but could be a form of your greatest strength because your sensitivities are an indicator.

Being sensitive can help you to know who should or should not be in your life. Being sensitive can let you know what is the best environment for you to be in.

Now, when I say indicator, I don’t mean that you should run away from everyone when you have a conflict or get emotional because that will happen in life sometimes.

Yet, I am saying that let your sensitivities guide you on the path to embracing what fills your heart with happiness, fulfilment and purpose.

Celebrate Yourself Often

To be confident, you’ve got to be your biggest cheerleader. You’ve got to cheer yourself on not just for the big wins but the very LITTLE WINS that you might not even consider wins.

Cheer yourself on for waking up and showing up. Cheer yourself on for an attempt made at your goal even if you fail. Cheer yourself on for the steps you take when you endeavour to do something different.

This could be taking on a new project, having an adventure or joining an organisation.

There are different ways you can celebrate yourself.

You can celebrate yourself through self-care activities.

You can celebrate yourself through gifts.

You can celebrate yourself through trips.

Acknowledge Your Introversion with Pride not Contempt

Being a quiet and reflective soul does not make you boring. Being a quiet and reflective soul does not make you a loser or an outcast.

Being an introvert is a special and unique personality for people who like to think deeply about the world and life.

Introverts are seen in all spheres of life and some make the best leaders, teachers and musicians.

Being an introvert is meant to be celebrated.

Final Thoughts

For a while, I often saw myself as different. I was never inclined to be loud and outgoing.

Approaching a social event always made me feel anxious and I enjoyed my moments of solitude.

I thought I was just different but I later began to understand myself better.

I later came to the knowledge of what it meant to be an introvert.

As I understood introversion, it helped me to know myself and to find joy in my personality.

Being an introvert helped me to embrace aspects of my personality that make me feel happy and fulfilled such as writing, reading and reflection.

Being an introvert also helps me to connect with people who are like-minds and people whose energy I resonate with.

To the other gentle, quiet and sensitive souls out there. I see you.

You matter and can be confident. This means that your light deserves to shine just as brightly as anyone else.

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Isioma Ononye

I write about self-esteem, faith, mental health, women’s issues, social media & 🎥TV + Movie Reviews. 🗞️Newsletter: https://substack.com/@isiomaononye